Before I do

What this book actually teaches

Elizabeth F. Schwartz's Before I Do is a practical guide to prenuptial agreements written by a family law attorney. The book's central argument is that the prenuptial conversation — what happens to assets, income, and debt if a marriage ends — is not a cynical hedge against divorce but a form of financial and legal clarity that benefits both partners. Schwartz frames the prenup as a planning document, not a prediction of failure.

The book works through several distinct questions in sequence. First, what a prenuptial agreement can and cannot do: it can define property as separate or marital, establish how income earned during the marriage is characterized, specify what happens to a business, and address spousal support (alimony) parameters. It cannot predetermine child custody or child support, and a court can void provisions it finds unconscionable. Second, who needs one: the conventional picture is wealthy individuals protecting prior assets, but Schwartz argues the use case is broader — someone entering a second marriage with children from a prior relationship, a business owner, a person with significant debt, or anyone with asymmetric financial circumstances on either side. Third, how to have the conversation with a partner in a way that doesn't feel like a preemptive accusation, which is where the book earns its practical value for many readers.

Schwartz also covers the procedural requirements that determine enforceability: both parties need independent legal counsel, full financial disclosure, adequate time before the wedding (not signing under duress the night before), and a signed, witnessed document. Courts have voided prenups on all of these grounds, and the details matter more than people realize.

The limitations are notable. Schwartz is a New York-based attorney, and family law is state-by-state in the U.S. — enforcement standards, what can be included, and how courts treat specific provisions vary significantly by jurisdiction. Readers outside New York will need to verify local rules with local counsel. The book is also written for a general audience rather than as a legal reference, so it stays at the conceptual level and explicitly defers implementation to an attorney.

Worth reading for any engaged couple who wants to understand what a prenuptial agreement actually is before deciding whether to pursue one. The demystification of the process is the book's real contribution; the actual document requires an attorney regardless.

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About Elizabeth F Schwartz

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